wherever you are

Wherever You Are

Yesterday I looked up from the stained sidewalk
to see your reflection in Macy’s downtown window,
your red hooded wool
cape tightly closed at the neck,
your long
brown hair peeking out. I spun around,
hoping to catch you, hoping you’d catch me.

I guess I didn’t turn quickly enough.
You were gone, replaced by a group of tourists
gawking and mumbling about
transient matters,
not noticing the
bewildered man in their midst.

Crossing the Third Avenue bridge, I saw you
in a cab by yourself. You looked
into my eyes
as you passed, then turned
away without a smile.
Was that really you?
Tell me that wasn’t you
turning away.

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sentimental desperation

Sentimental Desperation

I’m an interloper to everyday life, born into a forgotten neighborhood lying on the other side of rusty tracks.

I’m among you standing toed to your metal gates, gazing up at life no longer expanding into possibilities. You know nothing of my existence, the possibility of me never intrudes into your consciousness.

Clanking metals resonate daily as men and women forging earth into blocks waiting for you to decide. Your hero’s and saints mean nothing to me, your weathered worship fallow of meaning, bereft of redemption.

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dark metal edges

Dark Metal Edges

      darkmetaledge

Dark metal edges welded together, endless flanges cutting my hands my knees as I crawl to to meet your demands. Hard surfaces surrounding me I can’t break though to you, I ask and ask the answer is always the same, be patient. Thorns of patience circle round my brow burrowing deeply beyond the blood.

I stand on a soapbox open and vulnerable scanning the horizon looking at my emotional destruction telling you what I feel letting you know I’ve opened my self to be what you said you wanted me to be, vulnerable . The more I open my self the more you push me away. I fracture my feeling allowing pain, horror and suffering to pour out warmly like cum between my fingers hoping you’ll do the same, but you don’t.

Road signs freshly painted every day, I travel going left then right watching out for pot holes that will break my heart. Surprised that avenues opened yesterday are today closed.

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nothing stirs

Nothing Stirs In Newly Fallen Snow

  Each foot vanishes in newly fallen snow only to reappear as I exchange left for right. Nothing stirs. Birds and squirrels normally scampering and chirping on the edges of my walk, have disappeared. Swinging arms and exaggerated puffing of the daily runners I often pass, are absent. The slightly wobbly bicycles zooming by with …

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nobody watching

Nobody Watching Coffee Warmth

“nobody watching in this moment, coffee warmth.”   Freshly fallen snow casts your footprints, left then right you trudge toward yellowish glowing windows of the coffee shop. Windows outlined in translucent iced frosting. The expansive silence broken by muffled squeaking falling off your knobby boots. Hand on door you enter to chatter rising from small …

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