wherever you are

Wherever You Are

Yesterday I looked up from the stained sidewalk
to see your reflection in Macy’s downtown window,
your red hooded wool
cape tightly closed at the neck,
your long
brown hair peeking out. I spun around,
hoping to catch you, hoping you’d catch me.

I guess I didn’t turn quickly enough.
You were gone, replaced by a group of tourists
gawking and mumbling about
transient matters,
not noticing the
bewildered man in their midst.

Crossing the Third Avenue bridge, I saw you
in a cab by yourself. You looked
into my eyes
as you passed, then turned
away without a smile.
Was that really you?
Tell me that wasn’t you
turning away.

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dark metal edges

Dark Metal Edges


Dark metal edges welded together, endless flanges cutting my hands my knees as I crawl to to meet your demands. Hard surfaces surrounding me I can’t break though to you, I ask and ask the answer is always the same, be patient. Thorns of patience circle round my brow burrowing deeply beyond the blood.

I stand on a soapbox open and vulnerable scanning the horizon looking at my emotional destruction telling you what I feel letting you know I’ve opened my self to be what you said you wanted me to be, vulnerable . The more I open my self the more you push me away. I fracture my feeling allowing pain, horror and suffering to pour out warmly like cum between my fingers hoping you’ll do the same, but you don’t.

Road signs freshly painted every day, I travel going left then right watching out for pot holes that will break my heart. Surprised that avenues opened yesterday are today closed.

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Wrap Up

In the midst of everything I was ignored. Daily I’d stand hand extended, the crowds hustling past shunning connection proffering false intimacy. Sullen and rejected I watched time accelerate, crowds thin and pass me by.

My life never amounted to anything, it was a momentary swirl of occurrence with me standing alone upon high cliffs wind in my hair watching sunrises and sunsets while breathing in infinite possibilities but never plunging into the abyss of those possibilities. What was it about about mortality I didn’t understand.

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Running Barbasol

The razor’s dull blade chafed skin beneath snow white Barbasol mimicking the unevenness that marked my failed life. Each nick reminding me of dreams long ago blushing pregnant, with promise. How I’ve wished to join those vanquished hopes following them down the drain of my corroded mind. Routine has become a prison and I have …

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Yellow Line

Ellen inhaled the stainless aesthetic, then slowly exhaling, savored the anticipation washing over her. The vendor folded back the stainless doors releasing the sacred aroma into a cloud of rising steam, and smiled. Taking the cue Ellen stepped forward to place her order, “two please,” she said smiling back at the vendor. Silver tongs plunged …

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