Simon sat gazing out the window, the gray sky outside reflected deeply within, revealing no difference between out there and inside himself. Seemingly the color penetrated him in one long pendulum wave. From him to there and back again the gray traveled, becoming intense for a moment then easing, but the ease was shallow, he knew the color would roll back upon him, and knowing this he kept himself braced against it and against all of life.
Sometimes Simon felt it was tangible and he could step off the window ledge onto the gray wave, walking up to the clouds for a better view, but his courage would sag before he took that first step, and doing this he never discovered how deep reality really was. He laughed at the thought of possessing courage that waned in important times. “I have no courage” he’d say, then brace himself, for the gray wave surely would follow his mocking statement.