Notes From Purgatory

Slide glass slide, rumble snap slide, jump jump shivers in my mind, when a man can not be free, I guess I just don’t know…….heroin be the death of me, heroin glass on glass, it’s my wife it’s my life…… then I’m better off dead…………..hit hit hit, then it begins to flow frosted glass syringe plunging deep, hungry vein, take me into purgatory.

These are my notes, written from purgatory, all day long I sit, wondering if I’ll ever get out, not really caring since I lost the key, I’m running away from you, running away from me, here in purgatory. Sliding, sliding into comatose rebellion against everyone not living in my junkyard, my filthy soul reeks with ache and disgust for all of you.

Sun rising onto another addiction morning, dusty scattered thoughts pleading to connect with one another here in purgatory, wake up wake up, screams my brain to my crouch, touching nerves thought long dead, finding one more way to stop the pain. It’s an early morning escape, here in purgatory.

Oh another day watching dream after dream go up in smoke, watching convictions blow away, bitting the dust here in purgatory. Pour a cup of Joe loosen up aged joints so my aim will be straight when I vomit up anxious guilt, then another cup of Joe so my aim is straight as I smash into my vein, erasing the pain, here in purgatory

Sins upon sins visited upon me cause I’m the son of the father who’s father loved to spike a bottle upside some girls head just to hear a scream, cause it shook him out of his dream, shook him out of living in purgatory. What can shake me out of my stupor, what can stop the screeching blood filled yells inside my head, who can I hit, here in purgatory.

Can’t wait for my next drink can’t wait for my next line, can’t wait to flash a spoon and spit into the moon, cause I’m dying here in purgatory, without you.

Don’t come back to me cause I’ll sing to you songs of feeling and I’ll pull you into sin. I’ll drag you down into the black of death and not let go till your eyes glaze with fire and you die with me, here in purgatory.

I will smile and extend a hand to you, smiling as you enter this stinking sewer, this lost paradise of addiction, join me and we’ll know warmth we’ll hear colors and see sounds of angels singing us to sleep. Join me, join me here in purgatory.

some of the phrases within the first paragraph are mixed and inspired by Heroin – a Lou Reed song.

3 thoughts on “Notes From Purgatory

  1. The strongest addiction is that to another person…and perhaps the most difficult to move past. Can you really ever not want someone you love?

  2. I understand the struggle of logic and foresight against emotion in dealing with past loves. I also understand how to sort out emo and self-absorbed inner dialogue from quality prose. Come on. Seriously, I'm looking over this and I know you can do better.

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